I have Epilepsy. It scares me. All I know is how I feel after I have a major seizure and the relief I feel when I have a jerk. I want to raise awareness about epilepsy and other mental issues in the book I am writing but how can I do it justice when all I remember is the disorientation after I had a seizure. The incoherent childlike ramblings, the stiffness of my muscles, the ache in my head and the sound of fear in the voice of my wife. I feel guilty when I see the tears on the face of my wife. The death of my friend David has put the mortality of my life into the forefront of my mind. What will happen if I have a seizure and fall on the tracks of the tube? What will happen if I get hit by a vehicle while crossing the road? How will my wife cope? Sometimes I wish I could see what happens to me during a seizure. For now, I will have to settle for knowing the feeling of feeling electric tingling in my brain and the momentary loss of awareness.